2 dimensional

I know it seems to soon for another one but I have a current momentum that could die any day now and it would be a shame for you all to miss out on this!
My brother called me. "Hey, mum sent me something". "what?". "I don't know but its in the bin now". "I'll call her and ask for you"
My mum. Currently holed up in a lovely new set of units with fresh paint, new furniture, meals catered for and lots of friends to mingle with. Oh and locked gates. She developed early onset dementia last year and well went down hill pretty quick. She gets to meet new people every day which was a particular love of hers,  one that I have inherited I'm afraid. We had what can only be regarded as a tumultuous relationship and to be honest, to have her just lose her memory of me is not such a bad thing. Harsh I know but there was so much of her I didn't like. That's all gone but the good stuff went to so we will wait for the inevitable I suspect. Anyway, mum was a cheap skate. Big time cheap skate. Jane describes her meal management as being a "food Nazi". If there was 6 people and 12 prawns, woe betide the individual that went for a 3rd portion. Part of me understands as we grew up with only one parent working, but I came to realise mum was just lazy and didn't want to work. 4 kids and 2 grown ups on one wage, yes, I suppose she had to budget. I don't accept she had to save on postage decades later though.
My elder brother lives in the UK, he ran away from us (well not specifically me) way way ago. His career flourished and he was mum's pride and joy. I'm sure she'd have rather he be the 'only gay in the village', but his gaiety was her frame of reference in absentia. "oh yes, my eldest boy, he's abroad..and he's gay"
One year, mum decided he didn't have enough Australian stuff so bought a nice large jar of Vegemite. 750 grams of black yeasty goodness. The story would be great if he hated it (as it's a you either love it or hate it condiment) but the fact of the matter is that he was indifferent to it. Upon checking her trusty post office booklet on overseas mail charges, found that the jar and its contents would be far too expensive to send. the weight and size of the package prohibitively expensive it would seem. She had never considered that somewhere on a supermarket shelf, they already had Vegemite in the UK. This was an imperative mission for her now.
Zip lock bags are useful things I find. I've even seen them being made in China but that's another story. They do however give you a false sense of security. Spooning the contents into a ziplock bag, mum had resolved her 3 dimensional problem into what can be regarded as a 2 dimensional solution. Brilliant! why doesn't everyone send wet, sticky pastes across the planet in such a way I hear you say. It had arrived as one would expect after travelling in a few lorries, going through sorting machines and hands, being loaded into a crate and onto a plane then repeat the process at the other end.
It had arrived remarkably at my brothers but was an unintelligible mess. He binned it and rang me. "mum sent me something", "what?", "I don't know but its in the bin now", "I'll call and ask for you"
Do you have any idea what its like to listen to your mother describe the facts as related above and not think you just have to be adopted? But I'm not, I like to talk to lots of different people, I am multi dimensional.