Speed and Accuracy

 I got a phone call at work the other day. I was busy at my desk, at the new job, impressing my boss with the speed and accuracy of my communications. We were really under the pump to get the bid for a 40 million dollar project submitted. I answered my phone and it was my eldest, Mr20 . His communication certainly had speed but not so much the accuracy I felt required. There were rapid fire mumbling about his brother, "the dog was in the car", "he went inside" and a whole string of nonsense that I knew I didn't want to hear at that time in that way in that place. As I dropped the phone away from my face after telling him that I'd talk when we got home, I heard his faint voice from a distance saying "I'll message you a photo".

My phone beeped. This is the photo that appeared on my phone. Yes as I suspected, the car had been damaged. Not too badly I thought. A slight crease. I can live with that. The car would still have speed and accuracy.








Then this photo appeared and I realised things we a little more serious than I first anticipated. The door ajar like that gave me my first inkling that the car was no longer capable of speed nor could the door close accurately.  It was only when I saw the last image scroll up the high resolution screen of my OPPO phone that I became truly enlightened.

Yes, its what we like to call in the industry, a right fuck up.

 I took several long, deep breaths searching inside me for whatever understanding and forgiveness I could muster. "But why?" I hear you ask. "You don't even know the full story yet!". OMG you're right. I stayed calm. At the close of business I went home with as much speed and accuracy as I could manage without incurring the wrath of any constabulary. I went inside prepared to hear it wasn't anyone's fault. Possibly the dogs fault though.

Well as it happened, they boys were off to the park with the dog, all in the car, engine running about to back out when Mr 20 remembered he'd left his wallet inside the house. He went to get it and came out just in time to witness the car careering backwards, with neither speed nor accuracy, the door folding back like a camel's knee and a very surprised Mr15 in the front passenger seat leaning over where the handbrake should be. You've heard of the planets aligning? well these planets involved Mr20 leaving the car in gear when he went inside, the handbrake being on but the dog trying to get through to the front seat and Mr15 having to repel him and then well there you have it, the car took off for some reason.
Another planet is that I, only weeks prior, reduced the insurance on the car to fire and theft only.
I knew Mr20 felt bad so didn't have the heart to rip him a new one but did relate to him that I had done the exact same thing once upon a time. I'd wanted to hit a ball against the garage wall so put the family VW in neutral and rolled her back out through the garage doors whilst neatly folding the drivers door backwards as it caught on a post. But as I explained to Mr20 with much speed and accuracy, I was only 10.