Spiders have been shown to be my Achilles heal on more than one occasion. I find them interesting in a purely cool bugs kind of way and take great interest in them in their natural environment but have an accompanying respect for the distance between them and myself. We have here in Australia a spider known as the Huntsman. I'm not sure what its proper name is but they are the most common big spider you'd find in any house. The photo I found here is indicative of their usual size as well.
Anyways, one night I was fresh from the shower and walking up the hall way to the bedroom when on the lower glass panel of the front door (it was a french door sort of set up) I spied a spider resting peacefully on the glass outside waiting his next meal. Its not often you get to see a spider up close like that in a controlled environment. It was before I had laser surgery so without my glasses on, to really see him close, I had to get down on my hands and knees and bring my face right close to the glass. This was so I could study him from the underside through the glass. He was a biggun too. I could see so clearly the hairs on his abdomen and legs, his fangs and black dead eyes. I really was interested. Did I happen to mention I was naked too? well with my face about one inch from the glass of the front door, squinting to see this creature up close, when it moved. Ever so slightly it moved. It was about now that I realised it was in fact it was my breath causing it to move! How could that be when it was outside? My retreat met all the criteria for an emergency dismount; awkward, legs akimbo, accompanied by a short high pitched scream and falling flat on my arse on the cold slate tiles. Jane laughed that night. I learnt a lesson though, make sure the spider is on the outside, not just looks like it.
A mate of his decided to take a rest on the bonnet of our car one day. We were on our way out and when Jane suggested I flick it off the car, I said "no, the wind will look after it". We started driving and sure as eggs, the wind rushing past the car swept the spider up the windscreen and over the roof. Job done!
We continued down the road and decided to get KFC for lunch on the way. We pulled through the drive thru and ordered the food and progressed to the window to await the delivery of sustenance. The girl first took my money and then enquired as to whether I was aware that there was a big spider on the roof of the car. Well the window was down and yes we did know now but its ok, just give us our lunch and we'll be off. As they were bundling the 11 secret herbs and spices into the bag, I was keeping a close eye on the upper edge of the open window. I wished they'd hurry with that food. I didn't want to risk having the spider find his way into the car on my side now did I. I sat back a bit in my car seat and turned to face the window front on so no chance of a slip by. I was being aware!! On the top of my game concentration wise, focussed and calm when something fell on my shoulder. Something spindly and yucky crawled up my bare neck and I screamed. I flung myself about in the car seat to brush this silent killer from my flesh when Jane started laughing, well it started as a laugh and ended in tears as she could not but help laughing more. Just a slight touch of wiggling fingers seemed so innocent to her. To add insult, the KFC staff looking through their window into the car with the flailing man, were also all laughing uncontrollably. Note to self. Try to be more fearless of fingers.
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